There is no height, no breadth, no distance, no immovable force that can separate us from Divine Love.

www.SunyataSatchitananda.com

66th Birthday Gift Session with Sunyata

Published in Best Sex Writing 2012

Grief, Resilience, and My 66th Birthday Gift
By Joan Price

During my extreme grief after Robert died, I cried all day. “I cried” is such an understatement:  I wailed, I screamed, I keened. I exploded in great, ripping waves of crying that felt like I was vomiting tears uncontrollably from my gut. I understood the term “a broken heart” -- it felt like my heart was literally breaking, sawed to pieces by a huge, merciless, serrated knife while an elephant kicked me in the chest.

What does this have to do with sex? Nothing… and everything. For the first months, I didn’t have sex at all, not even with myself. Grief buried my sex drive, except that in my memory, I made love with Robert all day long, celebrating our erotic highs, his beautiful dancer’s body, his touches, his howls of pleasure – and my own.

Robert and I met in the line dance class I teach. I was 57 and he was celebrating his 64th birthday on the evening he wandered in, looking for a new place to dance, and altered my life. I was fired by lust immediately, especially after he started to dance, his gracefulness and mobile hips revealing a lifetime of dance training.

I couldn’t take my eyes off this sexy, white-haired man with ocean-blue eyes and a “touch this, please” tuft of curly white chest hair peeking from the V of his shirt. I imagined holding him, unbuttoning his shirt, nuzzling that chest hair.
Nine months later (“I don’t get into sex casually,” he had told me), I got to do just that. I nuzzled his chest hair, his head hair, his belly hair, his pubic hair. Even now, three years after his death, I can feel the soft, springy texture in my memory, as vivid as the last time I touched him.

Our lust and our profound love thrilled us. We scheduled whole afternoon sex dates, reveling in the power of our aging bodies and minds to rise to exhilarating heights. It was the best sex of our lives.

Was it the same as 20-year-old sex? Not even close – we weren’t driven by the biological urge to reproduce, but by the drive to bond and touch and share pleasure. And our bodies didn’t go into ready mode right away. In fact, my arousal time was so long that at first, I was embarrassed. Silly me, I even apologized to Robert for the amount of stimulation I needed.

“I don’t care if it takes three weeks,” he told me, “as long as I can get up sometimes to change positions and get something to eat.”  His humor, creativity, and enjoyment of his own physicality – combined with our deep love – made our sex soar and roar.

We loved, I wrote a book about senior sex, Robert painted beautiful art, we moved in together, we married.

Robert died of cancer exactly seven years after our first kiss.

“Can you see yourself dating again, getting in a relationship again, having sex again?” friends and even curious readers of my sex and aging book and blog would ask me as I mourned Robert.

At first, I said no. I had found and lost my great love – no one could follow that. My sex life with Robert, the love of my life, had been so dynamic, so passionate, so thrilling that his loss felt like the end to everything. Yes, I was still interested in sex, but more as a writer and sex educator than in my personal life.

Then, amazingly, about six months into my grieving, I started to feel stirrings. I found myself feeling turned on by men who radiated that enticing combination of sexuality and gentleness. I didn’t act on those feelings, but I admit I was surprised and happy that I was feeling them. I didn’t feel the need to satisfy the urge – it was enough to marvel at still being able to feel it. We human beings are amazingly resilient.

I remember having a dream at that time that I was responding sexually to a fully dressed, sexy man who was pressing his aroused self against me. I awoke, excited, and filled with wonder. “I’m still alive!” I said aloud.

A year and a half after Robert’s death, I prepared to face my sixty-sixth birthday alone. I longed for a man’s touch, but still hadn’t felt comfortable enough – or attracted enough – to welcome another man into my body. I wanted to be aroused and I wanted to orgasm from a man’s touch – but (was this selfish?) I wanted the pleasure without giving back just yet. There were men in my life who offered their services, but it didn’t seem fair to take and not give, and a real relationship was too complicated. I feared I would dissolve into tears if I made love with a new man.

I wondered, though… could I hire this pleasure? Men bought “happy endings” easily – could I?

I started looking on the Internet. Most ads and websites were sleazy and scary enough to make me run for cover. Then someone I trusted recommended Sunyata:

Our Sacred Session may involve sensual, intimate, touch —unconditionally loving your body with sacred, sensual and erotic, touch that catalyses holistic energetic shifts and nurtures your soul to vibrant life. This touch may stimulate you and result in a climax of pleasure -however, the goal of orgasm is not the focus of the Sacred Session.

I read Sunyata’s website over and over, pausing over these words. Then I wrote this email to a man I had never met:

Sunyata, I lost my beloved husband to cancer. I have been celibate for a year and a half (exactly, as of today), despite being a writer about sexuality. Although my toys enable me to keep my sexuality strong, I have been longing to be the recipient of a respectful, gentle, erotic massage with no body parts off limits. Your Erotic Enrichment, as described on your website, seems to fit what I am seeking.

He emailed back, then we had a phone conversation. We made an appointment for my sixty-sixth birthday.

Me? Hire someone I’ve never met to give me an “erotic massage,” with every intention that it will lead to orgasm? Yes. I did it, I loved it, and it still brings a smile to my face and a tingle to my nether parts remembering it. (Now I’m really shocking my family.)

Brave? Maybe. Typical of me? Absolutely not – I had never done anything like this before. Foolhardy? It didn’t seem so. He was recommended by someone I knew, and his website and client references seemed professional and impressive. Sure, a bad guy could construct an appealing website and concoct convincing testimonials, but would a bad guy go to the trouble of claiming to be a Certified Tantric Healer, Reiki Master, and Universal Life Church Minister? Would a bad guy even know what these terms meant?

Face it – it’s a fantasy of ours: a pair of skilled hands focused on giving erotic pleasure, no reciprocation expected (or allowed), non-sleazy, all pleasure, orgasms included. No, no, I wasn’t buying sex, Sunyata assured me. I wasn’t buying any outcome. I was simply hiring his services. And if I happened to get carried away experiencing his services – these are my words, not his – every response would be accepted and celebrated.

I still missed Robert like crazy. I had been with Robert exclusively for our seven years together, and his face, hands, and body were the images that stirred my fantasy life when I aroused myself. I pictured Robert as he was through all but the last months of our relationship, vital and strong: a dancer’s body, an artist’s hands, a lover’s smile. I imagined that he was the one touching me when I touched myself. I heard his murmurs of love. I saw his body responding to my touch. I felt his kiss.

And now I wondered: If another man were to touch me intimately, would I even be able to respond?
Sunyata seemed a safe way to find out. I would pay his fee, lie on his massage table, and receive his full attention for two hours.

Sunyata started our session with a discussion, seated on a couch in the massage room, both of us fully clothed. (He would remain so – I would not.) He asked me about what brought me there, and listened compassionately to my story. He explained the basic premise of the massage, which was a way to move tantric energy (I think – I admit I was too nervous to retain what he was saying). He explained that he was offering his service to honor me, and it would not be reciprocal.

“The session’s intent is to provide service in one direction—to you, my guest,” he explained. “You are welcome to touch me in non-erogenous areas of my body for connection and emotional support, but not to engage with my eros or my genitals. My sexual desire or need for gratification does not enter the space of our sacred session.”

In other words, I was to get naked, climb on the table, relax, and receive. 

But would my sexual desire and need for gratification “enter the space”? I couldn’t ask directly, because I knew we were hovering on the edge of what was legal. I concentrated on listening between the lines.

“I focus on being present with your desire and what wants to release or be revealed,” he continued. That answered my question.

It started out as a traditional massage, relaxing and unhurried. Traditional except that he didn’t skip my breasts as nonsexual massage practitioners do. I felt my nipples harden to his touch. I arched my back in response to his gliding hands – strong, sure, gentle.

Would Robert approve of what I was doing? I couldn’t help flashing on this, which put me on the verge of tears. No, he wouldn’t approve or understand. But Robert would never touch me again, and I had to find my own way to reclaim the sensual and sexual life within me. I pulled my awareness back to the present, the gentle touch of this stranger offering pleasure, as much pleasure as I wanted. And I wanted it.

As Sunyata continued massaging me for a very long time (an hour maybe? time stopped), my whole body and brain began to quiver in anticipation. I felt my own body rise and fall with his touch, his rhythm in sync with mine. I kept my eyes closed, focusing on the sensation.

I parted my thighs, and I could feel my own heat drawing his hands closer to my pleasure center. Finally, his hand cupped my vulva and waited. I rocked into his hand, my clitoris on fire. His hand moved expertly, slowly, gently, waiting for my response with each movement.  

“May I touch your yoni?” he asked quietly. Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes. Fingers entered me, slick with massage oil. He massaged me slowly and gently, inside and out, as if his hands had known me forever. He and I were the ocean – timeless, our rhythm primordial and certain.

I gave myself up to Sunyata’s expert hands, and the ocean soared and roared in crashing waves of pleasure. Wild sensations, the culmination of a year and a half of grief and longing. I laughed. I cried. I laughed again.

His massage turned quiet again, relaxing me after my wild ride. As he stroked me, my arousal started to rise again. Though in “normal” life, one orgasm is absolutely fulfilling and plenty for me, his hands responded to my surge and – more quickly this time -- the waves crashed again.

“You must love your job,” I mumbled to Sunyata as I quieted finally.
“I love my job,” he said. I pictured him smiling but I didn’t manage to open my eyes to find out.

My birthday erotic massage from a gentle stranger changed something in me. It showed me that I was still a responsive, fully sexual woman, getting ready to emerge from the cocoon of mourning into re-experiencing life. I realized that one big reason I ended up on Sunyata’s massage table was so that I could get ready to reenter the world.

Sometimes Robert seems to talk to me. I ask him, “Are you really talking to me, or am I making this up?” and he replies, “It doesn’t matter.” As I approach the third anniversary of his death, I receive this message as clearly as if his voice utters it:

Baby, when I was alive I wanted you all to myself. I needed reassurance that in loving you so much I wasn't risking losing myself by losing you. I wasn't sure I could give you enough to make you happy.

I can't make you happy now. I can't hold you except in your memory and sometimes in dreams.

You don't need to ask my permission to live your life fully and zestfully. Or to share that love and lust in you with another.

You have so much life in you, sweetheart, so much love to give.

Give it.

If you need my blessing, you have it.

Love always,
Robert

Although I still miss Robert every time I breathe in or out, I know I’ll have a lover again, and it will be good. I know I can’t replace the love I shared with Robert and I’m not looking for that – but I do need to stay vibrant and alive. Nurturing my sexual self is a part of being fully alive that I will embrace.

- A version of this piece was originally published in Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex by Joan Price, Seal Press, June 2011.

Joan Price (http://www.joanprice.com) is the author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, both from Seal Press. Visit her award-winning blog about sex & aging: http://www.NakedAtOurAge.com.

Naked At Our Age Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/JoanPriceAuthor

The Stranger

“He is the unknown emissary of the gods, the initiator into sexual mysteries combining the physical and spiritual.” –Nancy Qualls Corbett in The Sacred Prostitute: Eternal Aspect of the Feminine

The phallus symbol, the potent masculine component of the female psyche is the “stranger animus” that initiates and catalyzes advanced states of consciousness and expanded levels of inter-relatedness and engagement, within the psyche and expressed outwardly between man and woman.

“In ancient times, often it was the priest of the temple who initiated women into the sexual and spiritual rites dedicated to the goddess, and taught her the art of love-making.” (ibid) The Stranger-animus appears as priest, mediator of the divine and earthy-nature god, one who confirms, acquaints and familiarizes the natural aspects of fecundity and Eros in the expression of woman’s desire and connection to spirit.  Therewith experiencing, woman reaches a level of consciousness whereby her “feminine being” contains forces instinctively natural and spiritual, blended into a rich elixir of abundant expression.

“The Stranger” initiates a distinctive process whereby a woman reaches fulfillment and potentiality unknown in its absence.

1. Repressed attitudes and roles that wound and limit feminine expression and experience are realized and released.
2. The importance of beauty and sexuality are realized and accepted.
3. Attitudes that debase the feminine are confronted and differentiated—between internal messages and judgments and outward influences of oppression.
4. The goodness and acceptance of the Goddess and her devotee –the Sacred Prostitute (or Dakini) is realized, allowing and encouraging the woman to expand in the fullness of love, in service to the divine.
5. Welcome and solicitation is extended to undeveloped aspects of the feminine Ego which become integrated and valued as a holistic awareness of self is developed.
6. The Masculine aspect is welcomed and recognized as essential to independent femininity, strength, decisiveness, and action vital to both inner and outer relationships.
7. All guilt is released. Guilt of “using” men, of inferiority, of jealousy, of competition; the woman stands complete, whole unto herself, virginal.
8. Completion is felt, reveling in the experience of femininity and love, sovereign, delighting in the giving and receiving of being woman.

How does “The Stranger” do this?
It is through intimate connection that the stranger-animus may facilitate a woman’s awareness of the greatness in her being, her sexuality, her autonomy. It takes an actual man to concretize this experience.

“The stranger’s eyes penetrate the woman’s inner being; his very presence awakens the dormant sacred prostitute and the sensuous feminine nature contained therein.”  “The stranger comes as an emissary of the divine, the moon goddess; if he is not welcomed; the goddess too is slighted and turns her dark side toward the woman. The consequence is that the woman remains cut off from her spirituality, which would contain and enhance her sexual nature.” (ibid)

Un-orchestrated, it is often the case that a literal stranger appears in the life of a woman to initiate her into these deeper realms of love and spiritual-erotic embodiment. Reemerging in today’s world is the Priest, or Daka, a spiritual-sexual-healer who consciously initiates and stewards a woman to intimate and profound connection of Spiritual-Eros embodiment. Without romance or overt plying or contrived intention on his part to save the woman from an empty existence, the Daka neither promises enduring relationship or planned, manipulated outcome—merely honest, simplistic, service and facilitation that releases and propels her to fullness of being and enlargement of expression.

By so submitting to “the Stranger,” and the unknown, is the unconscious loosened and the woman freed from maidenhood or dependency, and the compulsion to perform, gain, or keep a man’s attention as her security. Only thusly can she claim authentic connection with the goddess and accept in totality spirit’s life within her body as a full participant.

Women who are conscious of their full feminine being are free, and attentive to the wisdom of the heart. They trust and serve the wisdom of the body and its relationship to Eros, guided by spirit and instinctive nature.

The Stranger-animus is both an outward presence and inward reality that catalyzes growth and fullness of being. “Through it women come to realize their true instinctive nature as it unites with spirit, the male stranger, in the ritual of the sacred marriage.” (ibid)

Sunyata Satchitananda
www.SunyataSatchitananda.com

Comprehensive Healing

In my Spiritual Counseling and Healing practice I facilitate a healing or restoration process from three separate domains: Spiritual, Energetic, and Psychoid (psyche—physical). I believe, for lasting and comprehensive healing/restoration to occur, all three of these dimensions must be addressed and integrated.

The goal of my counseling and healing practice is to restore the client to a sense of wholeness, original innocence, and holistic integration of Soul, Mind, and Body.

Spiritual Healing
Spiritual healing happens on the incorporeal plane and uses the cooperation and guidance of both my, and the client’s, etheric guides, higher self, ascended masters, guardian angels, animal spirit-helpers, elementals, and other benevolent etheric beings. Also known as Soul Retrieval or Karmic re-patterning, this process seeks to discover and reconnect on an esoteric level disparate parts of the self that are affecting the client’s ability to make progress, heal, or dynamically create.

The process includes “connecting” with these incorporeal entities and establishing linkages that take the form of triangles and/or pyramids of etheric energy. The connection and communication utilizes subtle energies of thought, intention, focus, and psychic awareness to channel guidance and information healthful to the client.

The spiritual healing technique I use involves holding the client in a container (a column, egg, or cone of light) and maintaining the focus and intention of “original: wholeness, virginity (complete unto oneself), and innocence.” By so doing, I receive messages and impressions of what is going on for the client and what would be beneficial to the client’s well-being and restoration of health —including what blocks their progress, experience, or expression. In sharing this information, the client’s conscious self is given esoteric knowledge previously unseen, or aware of, which can be consciously integrated and used to make informed decisions regarding behaviors, thought forms/judgments, and emotional blocks.

Energy Healing
Energy healing happens at the inter-dimensional plane connecting incorporeal and
corporeal —as it pertains to the client’s energy centers (Chakras), pathways (Nadis), and endocrine glands (transformers of etheric energy for the physical body).

As a Reiki Master, and Certified Tantric Healer, I work with the subtle and not-so-subtle power source of Eros, Life-Force energy. I “read” the energetic body and work with revealed blockages, contractions, or restrictions to energy flow in the passageways or energy centers—clearing and/or charging these. This often happens without touching the body, and sometimes gentle touch facilitates activation or release.

The container for the healing session also affects the nature and intensity of energy I work with. Reiki sessions are by nature very “soft” with subtle shifts and adjustments being felt by the client. Reiki energy healing focuses on allowing the wisdom of the client’s physical and etheric body, including his/her higher self, guides and divine direction, to steward and direct me during the session. I maintain focus and presence, holding a container of health and well-being, and respond to intuitive and divine direction for where to concentrate, or direct, the energy.

For Tantric Healing sessions, Eros is actively utilized to catalyze awareness and state changes that reveal the hidden blocks or woundedness that desire to be released, reclaimed and integrated. Tantric healing follows the axiom of Plato: Eros leads to Gnosis (self-awareness, knowledge). Eros is Life-Force energy that is specifically focused on connection—the connective aspect of engagement (the experience’s resonance or feeling rather than the “doing” that creates the experience). By activating and “following” Eros, the places where there is disconnection, contraction, or weakness are revealed. Eros “desires” to move, thrive, and be alive and empowered with a fecundity of new possibilities of connection; relishing and wallowing in the thrilling experience of that connecting and its aliveness.

The pinnacle of erotic connection is felt in orgasm with its ecstatic and rapturous vibration of nirvana (unity consciousness, all-connectedness) however, orgasm is not the goal or purpose of Tantric healing sessions. During Tantric Healing sessions places that are numb, “dead” in feeling, cold, non-responsive, turn up and are invited/allowed to consciously integrate with the totality of the client's being. Tantric Healing sessions involve movement, breath work, visualization, and erotic activation which includes touching the body. In so doing, the aliveness of Eros frees and releases, enlivens, activates, and enriches the energetic body—reconditioning and restoring connection, aliveness, and flow of energy.

Psychoid Healing (Psyche—Physical)
The physical body is the repository of psychological-emotional wounding and trauma. Psychology, as well as Hands-On body therapies attempts to address this condition in separate modalities. Recently, with the advent of “alternative healing” modalities and therapies additional approaches that combine both psychology and the physical have appeared.

A major tenant of Psychoid healing is to relax armoring —physical, emotional, and psychological barriers that prevent awareness and integration of disparate parts of the psyche that leave one feeling fractured, disconnected, and produces unconscious “acting-out” or avoidance behaviors that can sabotage relationships or creativity. By relaxing this armoring of blocked energy and releasing clenched or contracted places (physical and energetic) relief and restoration of mental-emotional-psychological health (leading to physical improvements too) is achieved.

The Psychoid healing process includes physical and verbal aspects that address the complex emotional-mental-psychological makeup of trauma-armoring. My practice includes a certain amount of “talk” therapy, counseling, that explores the narrative “story” associated with trauma and attempts to “create space”
(neutral detachment) from the overwhelming charge or compulsion associated with the trauma, issues or judgments that keep the client locked into repeated patterns or unconscious limiting beliefs.

Verbal transmission engages the Emotional Body, Mental Body, and Spiritual Body in an attempt to release armoring and thought forms that empower dis-ease and disharmony in the client.
a. Emotional Body by addressing feelings and fears.
b. Mental Body by addressing thinking and judgments.
c. Spiritual Body by addressing inner-truth and knowing one’s truth.

The physical body is integral to the healing process because it is the place where wounding is stored. Psychoid memory houses pain, fear, powerlessness, anger, rage, and a host of other emotional states. By relaxing the physical body through touch, massage, acupressure, caresses, and embrace—all of the other levels of armoring are facilitated to release. I utilize sensual massage in my healing sessions to relax and stimulate the body, as well as create a feeling of complete acceptance and unconditional love. When certain “private” areas of the body are omitted—subtle or overt feelings of shame, exclusion, or separation are felt by the client and this is counter-intuitive to the goal of healing and restoration. I apply loving and unconditionally accepting touch to the entire body that sends a message that he/she is entirely safe to be completely present and feel holistically connected to all “parts” of the self.

In Tantric Healing sessions, sensual massage is used to engage the physical body in a way that elicits sensual response that aids Eros to awaken and move throughout the “body.” Eros does much of the “work” in revealing, catalyzing, conditioning, and releasing blocked or clenched deposits of Psychoid memory wanting to be integrated, accepted and whole again. Some procedures, like Internal Pelvic Release involve gentle pressure (i.e. myofascial release touch) to intimate parts of the body where sexual wounding is often stored. This touch activates powerful releases of emotion, visions, and physical responses of relief, pleasure, discomfort, tremors, spasms, warmth, and release of tension/tightness.

As a Spiritual Counselor with over 25 years of experience, Certified Tantric Healer and Reiki Master, my healing sessions contain an integrated, synergistic, and complimentary combination of all the above in an effort to create comprehensive healing; a restoration to wholeness and a sense of original innocence and completeness for my clients.

Sunyata Satchitananda
www.SunyataSatchitanada.com

Bibliography:
The Healer's Manual: a Beginner's Guide to Vibrational Therapies by Ted Andrews
Hands-On Healing: A Practical Guide to Channeling Your Healing Energies by Jack Angelo
Esoteric Healing: A Practical Guide Based on the Teachings of the Tibetan in the
works of Alice Bailey by Alan Hopking
The Lightworker's Way: Awakening Your Spiritual Power to Know and Heal by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.
Journeying: Where Shamanism and Psychology Meet by Jeannette M. Gagan, Ph.D.
Shaman, Healer, Sage: How to Heal Yourself and Others with the Energy Medicine of the Americas by Alberto Villodo, Ph.D.
Touching: Body Therapy and Depth Psychology by Deldon Anne McNeely, Ph.D.

The Dionysian Male

Two gods stand in contrast: Apollo and Dionysus. The Apollonian male is a “straight arrow,” circumspect and careful, hero of the patriarchy. Dionysus, to the patriarchal male viewpoint, is slightly mad, impulsive, off-balance, strange and associated with archaic sensibilities. These "gods" portray two versions of masculinity present in our culture as it undergoes a great transformation away from patriarchy and into equitable egalitarianism.

Psychologically, Apollo represents “solar phallos” identified by order and regularity. Dionysus’ intrinsic connection with femininity causes emotion with intensity, to feel rather than talk about feeling. To an intellectual Apollonian "male" separated from one’s feelings, such wantonness of emotion is unbearable. To a Dionysian, it is part and parcel to being, the consequence of spirit and flesh incarnate and embodied.

Dionysus was called the “womanly one,” the “womanly stranger” and the “man-womanish.” Women encircled his experience: Ariadne his wife, Semele his mother, Aphrodite his consort, Nymphs and Maenads his associates. Women expressed themselves in wild excitement during his rituals and festivals. Males in his stories were Satyrs, Centaurs, and Selini, lascivious expressions of masculinity mirroring the ithyphallic (erect phallus) representations of the god. Thus, Dionysus represents the carnal “underworld” and shadow connection to one’s unimproved nature –a primal connection to the depths of one’s being, a marriage of chthonic masculine and chthonic feminine in irrational orgy.

"The slightly mad qualities of Dionysus and his flock belong to psychic reality, and room must be made for them, whether or not Apollonians enjoy the coexistence. The fusion and confusion of masculine and feminine in the psychoid unconscious is expressed in the archetypal image of Dionysus." (from Phallos: Sacred Image of the Masculine by Eugene Monick)

Dionysian wisdom is beyond pure Apollonian understanding –being sourced from embodied experience. Dionysus is the transpersonal experience of life transcending personal ego and stoic scientific pragmatism and infused with embodied realism of natural experience. Only by giving way to such does one transcend intellectual impression with experiential psychoid (of the psyche and physical) reality.

The Dionysian male contains within himself not only masculine, but also strongly feminine qualities in a fusion of coexistence that integrates his unconscious and conscious expression of being in a holistic-androgynous expression of “male.”  He does not have a sexual identity problem –whether expressly heterosexual or homosexual in nature, he knows himself to be male yet he shares with women in a way that no Apollonian male can.

"The integration of chthonic phallos (with its overtones of the feminine) and solar phallos is the task of consciousness, a process inherent in the Dionysian image." (ibid)

The brotherhood of “male” is changing as men transmute patriarchal stereotypes of masculinity. While Apollonian masculinity favors patriarchal values of linearity and regularity, which serve Ego-personality –Dionysian masculinity favors equitable egalitarianism; integrating the vast resource of the unconscious with the conscious personality with inclusive synthesis thereof.

"New Consciousness, the movement beyond patriarchy, no longer requires diminishment of the feminine for phallic establishment. Masculinity finds its center as inner phallic reality. This, together with the anima, constitutes a restoration of wholeness in a male." (ibid)

The Dionysian male is psychoid-androgynous and chooses to incorporate an owned portion of the opposite gender into his dominant identity. "An androgynous person does not pretend to be a member of the opposite sex. An androgynous male will not repress his feminine characteristics, however much he may, at times, decide to suppress them. He knows that they are part of him, he has worked on his ego resistence to integrating them. He knows there will be times when he will choose to think and perhaps behave according to the "her" within him." (ibid)

Dionysus represents the possibility of masculine expression that includes chthonic phallos and its feminine aspects with Apollonian, solar phallos. To the extent that this takes place, a man moves closer to expressing unus mundus –the totality of masculinity in integrated expression– not burdened by patriarchal bias and limitation. The more Dionysus is accepted and represented in a man’s personality the more he expresses the holistic benevolence of this divine masculine archetype in its beatific totality.

Sunyata Satchitananda
www.SunyataSatchitananda.com

Tantra transcends the Trap of Duality: Fear and Insecurity

We are a dynamic multidimensional being with the ability to perceive consciousness on different planes of existence -from the apparent density of 3d physicality to the subtlest etheric vibration of 'spirit' in higher dimensional realms.

The place most of us stop and focus awareness at is in the plane of duality-awareness embedded in 3d-physical existence. Duality is useful here as part of the decision processing necessary for manifesting anything in this dimension. Ego is closely tied to duality -as the chief filter and information processor of dualistic information (on-off, yes-no, good-bad). Duality, unfortunately, is also predisposed to support Fear (resulting from logical, self-preserving point of view) and thus the Ego has become laden with fear, and that fear has become humanity’s dominant influence of awareness.

Insecurity is a flavor of fear that many people carry with them. Cultural biases and fads instigate and support feelings of insecurity which are manipulated and leveraged to support commercial, consumer processes and cycles set up by the ego to assuage itself.

Spiritual practice focuses awareness on the expanded nature of self. As consciousness disengages from its embedded state in 3d-duality it expands to perceive the continuation of the body into finer, subtler vibrations of being. At these “higher” levels of awareness only a feeling of connectedness and love exists -there is no fear.

The dominant influence of awareness at these levels of being is something we have no word for in our common language. It’s a feeling of “always-is-ness,” a primordial being-ness, a complete and utter security of being -to the point that there is no question of the possibility of a threat existing. None of the common fears in 3d affect who we are at the higher states of being. There is no “time” period. Nothing ends, nothing began, everything exists at an energetic level -it is simply transforming and evolving consciousness.

All distinctions of a beginning and ending universe are subject to 3d reality and only exist in that dimension. The goal of spiritual practice is to reorient awareness to a higher level that maintains an always-is-ness confidence of being while “playing” in 3d manifesting and co-creating. Tantra, as a spiritual pathway, is remarkable for its capacity to use physical, 3d experience as both a doorway and catapult for consciousness expansion and reorientation to higher levels of being.

Tantric practices gradually transfer awareness from duality to unity consciousness. Tantric practice frees consciousness from the bonds of 3d by engaging this dimension’s fundamental aspect of physical pleasure: sex. Following its vibrational leading to subtler dimensions of spirit, consciousness is transformed and expanded by direct experience. From this higher-perspective of awareness, fear and insecurity can be consciously released as not serving the higher-good of the self; resting in the always-is-ness feeling of being. Thus Tantra effects the entirety of living, aiding the adherent in shifting dominant feelings from fear to confidence-of-being.

Sunyata Satchitananda
www.SunyataSatchitananda.com

The Journey to Vitality and Wholeness: Sexual Healing - Emotional Integration - Erotic Empowerment

Are you frustrated by the repetition of unhappy relationships with similar patterns that prevent deep intimacy and trust?

Have you withdrawn from seeking intimacy and sex because its easier to be alone and celibate than deal with the drama and emotional pain of a “relationship?”

Are you hoping there is more to sex and intimacy than what your experience has been?

Do you long for a “spiritual” connection in your sexual expression?

Are you tired of the same dysfunctional sabotaging that pops up ruining your opportunities for intimacy and happiness?

Have you given up thinking you’ll find someone who really sees your beauty, your unique gifts, your divinity?

Are you plagued with thoughts and feelings of being not “good enough” or not desired by others?

People who have experienced trauma, abuse, sexual and emotional battering and wounding often feel they are in the situations described above. Adding to feelings of frustration is the thought of not knowing what to do or where to look for help with such intimate and private concerns.

Studies show that it is a rare exception to not have experienced the trauma or abuse and wounding mentioned above during one‘s lifetime. It seems most of us have embedded memories in our being of such experiences and it is these unprocessed experiences that subliminally effect our engagement with other people and the stories we tell ourselves about our life and relationships. Its only by processing and integrating these “shadow” aspects of one’s experience are we able to benefit from -instead of be at the mercy of- their energy and reclaim these alienated pieces of our self. Doing so brings relief and empowerment -a feeling of unity and wholeness pervades one’s being. Past situations and concerns that plagued us no longer inhibit or contract the experience of happiness and fulfillment we feel.

Energy Knots
Emotional, mental and physical trauma and abuse creates an acute experience which -understanding and acceptance of- is rejected as being unacceptable, frightening, and abhorrent. This rejection is a massive surge of emotional, mental, and physical energy that embeds in one’s being a clog of energy that acts like a sore muscle does when there’s a knot in it. These “energy knots” continue and can fester to greatly influence our life experience if not attended to.

Many people get by with coping skills that enlist anger, manipulation or dominance -or retreat into depression, self abuse, or acting out. Often feelings of low self esteem, worthlessness, unworthiness, and failure are unconsciously addressed by distractions: overcompensating with family, career, consuming hobbies, drug or alcohol abuse, overeating and/or indiscriminate sex. During our life experience whenever one comes up against a situation that triggers the wounding of the “energy knot” a reaction occurs with unconscious behavior or words that often creates the opposite of what is in one's best interest or desired as an outcome.

Many therapy modalities exist and most are implemented as a form of “talk therapy” -endeavoring to clear impacted emotional blocks and distortions through the mind‘s functioning. Talk therapy provides treatment and processing that can be effective on a mental level by providing some intellectual understanding, limited emotional level activation -and very little, if any, physical engagement. Alternately, most “body therapies” don’t consciously or purposely engage the emotions or seek to bring new consciousness into effect.

Healing Touch
When emotional wounding, abuse and trauma enters one’s awareness it triggers thoughts, emotions and physical feelings that combine to embed lasting tender spots in one’s psyche. Because the imprinting of abuse and trauma involves all three aspects of being, (emotional, mental and physical) the process of releasing emotional wounds and integrating their power necessarily involves all three aspects as well. Without this holistic approach to clearing, releasing and integrating blocked energy often only limited and temporary effects are felt.

Because many of the occurrences of abuse and trauma happen in connection with the sexual body (incest, rape, sexual abuse, molestation, sexual hazing) a healing modality that addresses this aspect directly in a therapeutic process is preferred. Sexual Healers (Daka, Dakini, Sacred Intimate, Intimacy Coach, Sexological Bodyworker, Sensual Guide) provide such a holistic health service with knowledge, expertise and experience in activating and addressing the emotional, mental and physical aspects of self in releasing and shifting blocked energies for a return to wholeness.

Sexual Healers
Sexual Healers provide safe space with sacred intention -holding precious the vulnerability of -and trust placed in them by- their client. A clear container that respects boundaries and adeptly guides the client to deeper layers of opening, acceptance, and releasing, provides the basis of a healing session. Sexual Healers work with one’s personal evolutionary impulse (entelechy) and help one to open up to what wants to be cleared, shifted, and released to create a new feeling of empowered completeness in the client.

Sexual Healers provide a feeling of safety, confidence, acceptance, non-judgment, inspiration and new possibility. They engage and activate the emotional body by a process that includes physical and mental stimulation catalyzing energy knots to release and open -allowing energy to flow freely again. By quieting the mind to release mundane concerns, guiding with a relaxed focus and simple visualization, and adding appropriate higher-consciousness, the mental component on the path to integration is addressed. By also engaging the physical body through sensual touch that both relaxes the body and stimulates erotic energy, the Daka or Dakini provides an effective means to loosen and shift energy knots into releasing and integration. The intention is not for sexual gratification, rather, erotic energy is enlisted for its catalytic and healing ability.

Sexual Healers function similarly to other alternative health service providers and counselors/coaches, setting up a program of sessions that addresses the unique circumstances of the client. Unwinding emotional energy knots and returning to wholeness and empowerment is a process that often requires more than one session for complete results to be felt.

The Journey "Home"
The journey to healing and wholeness is a process that contains feelings of accomplishment, relief and ecstatic joy -as well as aspects of anxiety, discomfort, and fear because these elements are entwined in the energy knot. When these knots are unraveled and released, significant discomfort (accompanying relief) can result. This can prompt the ego to challenge the wisdom of the path one is taking to heal and release these energy knots. The situation is similar to someone starting an exercise program for the first time -muscles that haven't been worked very hard begin to "complain" and one's resolve is challenged, often ending the exercise program and the good intentions of the individual. People who complete their course of healing and integration report feeling more beautiful, sexy, clear, attractive, confident, empowered, and whole. You, dear reader, are invited to look within and discover the places where you have contraction, restriction, or inhibition and seek guidance and a program of healing and integration so you also can feel the benefits of holistic health, emotional and psychological vitality, and be inspired to new heights of expression and well-being.

Namaste,
Sunyata Satchitananda
Spiritual Counselor, Daka-Sacred Intimate,
Certified Tantric Healer ~ Reiki Master
www.SunyataSatchitananda.com