The Stranger

“He is the unknown emissary of the gods, the initiator into sexual mysteries combining the physical and spiritual.” –Nancy Qualls Corbett in The Sacred Prostitute: Eternal Aspect of the Feminine

The phallus symbol, the potent masculine component of the female psyche is the “stranger animus” that initiates and catalyzes advanced states of consciousness and expanded levels of inter-relatedness and engagement, within the psyche and expressed outwardly between man and woman.

“In ancient times, often it was the priest of the temple who initiated women into the sexual and spiritual rites dedicated to the goddess, and taught her the art of love-making.” (ibid) The Stranger-animus appears as priest, mediator of the divine and earthy-nature god, one who confirms, acquaints and familiarizes the natural aspects of fecundity and Eros in the expression of woman’s desire and connection to spirit.  Therewith experiencing, woman reaches a level of consciousness whereby her “feminine being” contains forces instinctively natural and spiritual, blended into a rich elixir of abundant expression.

“The Stranger” initiates a distinctive process whereby a woman reaches fulfillment and potentiality unknown in its absence.

1. Repressed attitudes and roles that wound and limit feminine expression and experience are realized and released.
2. The importance of beauty and sexuality are realized and accepted.
3. Attitudes that debase the feminine are confronted and differentiated—between internal messages and judgments and outward influences of oppression.
4. The goodness and acceptance of the Goddess and her devotee –the Sacred Prostitute (or Dakini) is realized, allowing and encouraging the woman to expand in the fullness of love, in service to the divine.
5. Welcome and solicitation is extended to undeveloped aspects of the feminine Ego which become integrated and valued as a holistic awareness of self is developed.
6. The Masculine aspect is welcomed and recognized as essential to independent femininity, strength, decisiveness, and action vital to both inner and outer relationships.
7. All guilt is released. Guilt of “using” men, of inferiority, of jealousy, of competition; the woman stands complete, whole unto herself, virginal.
8. Completion is felt, reveling in the experience of femininity and love, sovereign, delighting in the giving and receiving of being woman.

How does “The Stranger” do this?
It is through intimate connection that the stranger-animus may facilitate a woman’s awareness of the greatness in her being, her sexuality, her autonomy. It takes an actual man to concretize this experience.

“The stranger’s eyes penetrate the woman’s inner being; his very presence awakens the dormant sacred prostitute and the sensuous feminine nature contained therein.”  “The stranger comes as an emissary of the divine, the moon goddess; if he is not welcomed; the goddess too is slighted and turns her dark side toward the woman. The consequence is that the woman remains cut off from her spirituality, which would contain and enhance her sexual nature.” (ibid)

Un-orchestrated, it is often the case that a literal stranger appears in the life of a woman to initiate her into these deeper realms of love and spiritual-erotic embodiment. Reemerging in today’s world is the Priest, or Daka, a spiritual-sexual-healer who consciously initiates and stewards a woman to intimate and profound connection of Spiritual-Eros embodiment. Without romance or overt plying or contrived intention on his part to save the woman from an empty existence, the Daka neither promises enduring relationship or planned, manipulated outcome—merely honest, simplistic, service and facilitation that releases and propels her to fullness of being and enlargement of expression.

By so submitting to “the Stranger,” and the unknown, is the unconscious loosened and the woman freed from maidenhood or dependency, and the compulsion to perform, gain, or keep a man’s attention as her security. Only thusly can she claim authentic connection with the goddess and accept in totality spirit’s life within her body as a full participant.

Women who are conscious of their full feminine being are free, and attentive to the wisdom of the heart. They trust and serve the wisdom of the body and its relationship to Eros, guided by spirit and instinctive nature.

The Stranger-animus is both an outward presence and inward reality that catalyzes growth and fullness of being. “Through it women come to realize their true instinctive nature as it unites with spirit, the male stranger, in the ritual of the sacred marriage.” (ibid)

Sunyata Satchitananda
www.SunyataSatchitananda.com

The Dionysian Male

Two gods stand in contrast: Apollo and Dionysus. The Apollonian male is a “straight arrow,” circumspect and careful, hero of the patriarchy. Dionysus, to the patriarchal male viewpoint, is slightly mad, impulsive, off-balance, strange and associated with archaic sensibilities. These "gods" portray two versions of masculinity present in our culture as it undergoes a great transformation away from patriarchy and into equitable egalitarianism.

Psychologically, Apollo represents “solar phallos” identified by order and regularity. Dionysus’ intrinsic connection with femininity causes emotion with intensity, to feel rather than talk about feeling. To an intellectual Apollonian "male" separated from one’s feelings, such wantonness of emotion is unbearable. To a Dionysian, it is part and parcel to being, the consequence of spirit and flesh incarnate and embodied.

Dionysus was called the “womanly one,” the “womanly stranger” and the “man-womanish.” Women encircled his experience: Ariadne his wife, Semele his mother, Aphrodite his consort, Nymphs and Maenads his associates. Women expressed themselves in wild excitement during his rituals and festivals. Males in his stories were Satyrs, Centaurs, and Selini, lascivious expressions of masculinity mirroring the ithyphallic (erect phallus) representations of the god. Thus, Dionysus represents the carnal “underworld” and shadow connection to one’s unimproved nature –a primal connection to the depths of one’s being, a marriage of chthonic masculine and chthonic feminine in irrational orgy.

"The slightly mad qualities of Dionysus and his flock belong to psychic reality, and room must be made for them, whether or not Apollonians enjoy the coexistence. The fusion and confusion of masculine and feminine in the psychoid unconscious is expressed in the archetypal image of Dionysus." (from Phallos: Sacred Image of the Masculine by Eugene Monick)

Dionysian wisdom is beyond pure Apollonian understanding –being sourced from embodied experience. Dionysus is the transpersonal experience of life transcending personal ego and stoic scientific pragmatism and infused with embodied realism of natural experience. Only by giving way to such does one transcend intellectual impression with experiential psychoid (of the psyche and physical) reality.

The Dionysian male contains within himself not only masculine, but also strongly feminine qualities in a fusion of coexistence that integrates his unconscious and conscious expression of being in a holistic-androgynous expression of “male.”  He does not have a sexual identity problem –whether expressly heterosexual or homosexual in nature, he knows himself to be male yet he shares with women in a way that no Apollonian male can.

"The integration of chthonic phallos (with its overtones of the feminine) and solar phallos is the task of consciousness, a process inherent in the Dionysian image." (ibid)

The brotherhood of “male” is changing as men transmute patriarchal stereotypes of masculinity. While Apollonian masculinity favors patriarchal values of linearity and regularity, which serve Ego-personality –Dionysian masculinity favors equitable egalitarianism; integrating the vast resource of the unconscious with the conscious personality with inclusive synthesis thereof.

"New Consciousness, the movement beyond patriarchy, no longer requires diminishment of the feminine for phallic establishment. Masculinity finds its center as inner phallic reality. This, together with the anima, constitutes a restoration of wholeness in a male." (ibid)

The Dionysian male is psychoid-androgynous and chooses to incorporate an owned portion of the opposite gender into his dominant identity. "An androgynous person does not pretend to be a member of the opposite sex. An androgynous male will not repress his feminine characteristics, however much he may, at times, decide to suppress them. He knows that they are part of him, he has worked on his ego resistence to integrating them. He knows there will be times when he will choose to think and perhaps behave according to the "her" within him." (ibid)

Dionysus represents the possibility of masculine expression that includes chthonic phallos and its feminine aspects with Apollonian, solar phallos. To the extent that this takes place, a man moves closer to expressing unus mundus –the totality of masculinity in integrated expression– not burdened by patriarchal bias and limitation. The more Dionysus is accepted and represented in a man’s personality the more he expresses the holistic benevolence of this divine masculine archetype in its beatific totality.

Sunyata Satchitananda
www.SunyataSatchitananda.com

The Male Sacred Intimate: Sexual Healer -Facilitator of Integration and Wholeness

I am a Man serving as a Sacred Intimate (Daka, Sexual Healer). I’ve worked as a carpenter, insurance inspector, photographer, TV station manager, and Development Director so you might wonder how did I come to be one who engages sexual energy with the intention of healing, shifting, releasing and opening energy blockages consisting of: emotional wounds, judgment, shame, powerlessness, low self-esteem and inexperience.

My path to becoming a Sacred Intimate started when I was pursuing a fine art photographer career. I created fine art nude-in-nature imagery which was well received and published in several issues of FOCUS magazine and shown at Photo San Francisco. The women who posed for me weren’t professional models and for many it was their first time to be photographed unclothed. I was professional and respectful, making sure they were comfortable, warm, and at-ease. Many of these women had remarkable responses to seeing their beauty portrayed in fine art imagery. From these experiences I yearned to be able to positively affect a woman’s self-esteem and realization of her beauty and innate divinity -however I had no idea what form that service might be.

I began studying Tantra and sacred sexuality. It was here that I found a basis for understanding sexuality and the dynamic of male-female energy engagement. This took me to a higher possibility for sexual engagement and created a container that supported transcendence within sexual relationship. Through my own process of healing, opening, and releasing my “blocks” to wholeness and integration I was able to reach a place within where I could serve the women in my life with similar processing, education, and coaching.

Eventually I met and began a relationship with, a woman who was serving as a Sacred Intimate (Dakini). Through her introduction and example, I was presented with the form my service could take. I desired formal certification to become a “Daka” and found a teacher for that purpose. I became certified as a Tantric Healer and started offering sexual healing sessions soon thereafter.

Before I began giving sessions as a Daka I went through a period of deep introspection, contemplating my motivation for serving in this capacity. Was I doing this to “get dates?” Was there some sexual gratification in the process for me? How did I feel about serving women I wasn’t attracted to? Would I serve men too? What were my boundaries, what was I willing/not willing to provide in a session?

My fears came up: Did I know enough, would I be good enough? Would I be able to fulfill the client’s expectations for the session? Could I keep my emotional “distance” and not become enmeshed/entangled with a client’s feelings or circumstances? Fortunately, I discovered, fears are always worse than what is actually experienced. My sessions were perfect, each a lesson in relaxing into being present and holding space without a personal agenda -which is a large part of my service as a Daka.

One of the big questions was: Would I serve Men? At first, I was disinclined because I am heterosexual, but then realized I was perpetuating my own homophobic fears. So, I remained open and after several gay or bisexual men contacted me for sessions I decided to give it a try. This process was perfect because it made me take another, closer, look at the purpose of the sessions I offer. For me, sessions are about healing and integration and realizing one’s divinity and higher awareness of being and not merely for the client’s sexual gratification. I realized that I was uncomfortable with providing “directed release” (a.k.a. “a happy ending”) as an expectation in the session. With either men or women, orgasms can happen, but they are not the goal of the session. I teach meditation and breathing techniques and energy awareness which combine to produce an expanded understanding and experience of orgasm when it occurs -and give men the option of not ejaculating but retaining the energy and moving it up through their body for an expanded experience.

So why do men and women come to see me in sexual healing sessions?

My sessions focus on sexual healing, releasing, opening and clearing energy blockages stemming from past trauma, emotional wounds, judgments, shame, powerlessness, and messages prompting low self-esteem. These blocks take the form of “hot spots” of tension stored in the body at various locations -often in the first or second Chakra area. Both men and women carry these blockages and both benefit from being consciously touched with loving, accepting, nurturing energy. By being present and providing loving touch, an opportunity is presented for the stored energy to shift, move, open, and release as a result of the intention for healing and integration held by the client. I gently steward our session and provide a safe and sacred container for such releases to occur.

Another reason men and women have sessions with me is due to the profound absence in our culture for healthy modeling of masculine attributes that support holistic growth and integration in the psyche. Women experience a double dose of discouragement when trying to grow into integrated wholeness by receiving healthy masculine modeling. There are very limited positive resources to model one’s inner masculine after and when women do assert masculine aspects they are often demeaned as a “bitch” or “dyke” by immature male egos.

Men likewise have scant resources for such modeling, and often receive their “training in being a man” from their father, grandfather, older brothers, uncles, superiors at work, or religious leaders -many of whom are emotional-adolescents themselves! Sessions with me give one the opportunity to explore healthy male energy that does not have an agenda for personal fulfillment or egoic gain.

A third aspect of sessions with me centers on healthy unconditional acceptance and touch. Many people do not have a resource for this in their life. And there seems to always be an attachment of expectation for reciprocal treatment -at the least- or worse, a one-way “using” of the other for sexual gratification. Women especially, report feeling like their husbands are just using their body to “get off” and don’t feel “seen” or felt as being present with -during sex.

I provide present, unconditionally loving acceptance and touch to whomever is before me -loving their body in all its shapes, sizes, colors, ages, and forms. For some people, my touch is the only experience of loving acceptance their body has had since they were very young. Sessions with me are often among one’s first steps towards body acceptance and better self-esteem.

Another significant category of client are women who have chosen to be celibate for one reason or another. These women often choose to experiment with male energy in a safe and sacred container, knowing nothing is expected of them in return and they can relax into positive male energy and maintain their choice of celibacy.

Men clients come to see me for many of the same reasons women do. Men have also experienced trauma, emotional wounding, and abuse and desire a safe container to release blockages of judgment, shame, powerlessness, guilt and low self-esteem. Whatever their sexual orientation, positive male energy is invaluable to experience and incorporate in one's life and men find their time with me to be nurturing and supportive in this way. Also, some heterosexual men desire to experiment with male energy in a safe and sacred container without the expectation of sex. I provide a positive engagement that meets this desire without judgment or pressure for sex.

What happens in a session with me?
Many clients are nervous in the beginning of their first session. Quickly that releases as one feels my presence, unconditional love and open listening which fosters trust and shifts the experience into relaxed confidence. I spend a significant amount of time counseling and coaching, which brings conscious awareness to personal and relationship challenges and a higher possibility for sexual engagement. I ask clients to share with me their intention and desire for our time together and what part of their story which seems relevant to our session. We discuss their intention, desires and concerns and I ask them to hold these lightly during our session and see what wants to shift, open, release, and integrate.

Because energy blocks are accepted into our being through a process that goes from the more subtle etheric bodies (intellectually, emotionally, spiritually) into the density of the physical body (and gets lodged there in “storage”). The process to release such blocks includes a similar pathway. I co-create with the client an opportunity for shifting or release by bringing a higher-consciousness to the underlying emotional and psychological issues attached to the blockage. Then I engage the body through breathing techniques, movement and massage to activate the specific areas harboring these blockages.

To get to the state where a shift or release can happen the body must be deeply relaxed, where armoring defenses are inactive. The quality of touch conveyed during the massage is one of unconditional love and acceptance, nurturing wholeness and well-being. There is no salacious “getting-off” energy part of this process, I am merely bringing the opposite of: judgment, fear, shame, and guilt to these sensitive areas of the body -and holding space for whatever wants to happen to occur.

I begin the session with a “centering” exercise using eye-gazing and breathing. I often follow this time with some core-connected “meditative movement” -a slow “dance” of stretching and moving our bodies to aid in embedding the new consciousness discussed earlier in the session. This is followed by a full-body sensual massage that includes the entirety of the body.

A full body sensuous massage includes the “private areas” of the body. For these areas, I ask permission first, and then wait for the body to also say “yes.” For the yoni (vagina), it is a three-step process. First, permission is received to start engagement with the yoni exterior, then when that is complete, permission is granted to enter the yoni for the interior release process, and third, permission to engage the sacred spot (another area that often carries shame, judgment, and fear). Each step is given respectful pause and consideration so that the woman feels completely at-choice and that nothing is being “taken” from her in the massage.

The massage is followed by a period of “completion” where I simply hold space and stay present to the venting or releasing that has occurred. If the client is open to it I eye-gaze with them for a bit to connect (sometimes however, the client desires to “go within” and close their eyes for a while) and we might hold hands or with my hand to their heart, so there is no abrupt ending to the session.

I also offer follow up counseling/coaching by phone or email for what may come up during the days/weeks that follow the session. Many clients benefit from repeat sessions which clear more blockages and allow for further integration and a return to a sense of wholeness and well-being.

Sessions for couples.
I feel humbly blessed to be trusted by a couple who are revealing their relationship’s challenges and desires. Couples often have issues around sexuality and intimacy and it is wonderful to experience the “ah-hah” moments where consciously connecting-the-dots creates a shift or opening that allows more love to shine through. I use a process of bringing consciousness to challenging aspects of relationship followed by integration with movement, breathing and massage to create a higher possibility for the couple’s love to deepen and intimacy to be felt .

Often couples come for sexual enhancement and also end up learning advanced sensitivity and communication skills and/or ways of bringing presence and consciousness to their relationship more fully. For many couples, sessions include discussion, coaching, education, demonstration, and body integration which I initiate and also teach them to do with each other. In addition, I offer sessions co-facilitated with a Dakini, Kali Devi, for those who are more comfortable with a couple leading the session.

As more women become apprised of the opportunity to grow into fullness by releasing blockages of energy through Sacred Intimate sessions our culture will begin to heal itself more rapidly. As men become more sensitive to the higher possibility of masculine/feminine integration and appreciation of their feminine aspect they will find eager support from women who share the desire for higher possibility in relationship and the social evolution of our species. Sacred Intimates, male and female, lead in this endeavor and provide opportunities for individuals and couples to expand in love and self-integration for a more holistic experience of life and love.

Please join me September 12-14th 2008 at Harbin Hot Springs in northern California for the World Polyamory Conference where I will be facilitating a workshop entitled: The Sacred Intimate: Agents of Love and Light. Also, please visit my web site to read more information about my sacred service offerings and to be notified of the release of my book “Love, Sex & Consciousness: a Handbook for the Aquarian Age” -coming soon. I am also accepting new clients, so please contact me with your desire for a session.

Love and Light,
Sunyata Satchitananda
www.SunyataSatchitananda.com

Holding Space

Holding Space for someone means staying engaged and present with them while they undergo a process of self-inquiry and discovery of truth. The process can often be a rough one that includes emotional releases and a potential for volatile reactions.

To be the holder-of-the-space is an opportunity to see the divine unfold before you in new and dynamic ways. Its important to avoid feeding the wounded "pain-body" energy which often accompanies emotional releases. Don't take personally the emotion present. Support the higher consciousness as it appears with healthful words of encouragement and/or affirmation. When it is asked for, you might also provide comfort by holding hands or embracing -allowing the contact to flow undirected by you.

Often the energy turns downward in vibration, seeking its previous familiarity-with-discomfort. When you hold the higher-consciousness up as the higher potential you are like a light-house beacon that radiates the light of truth that releases the hold of the shadow in that moment. Clarity of focus returns and the process continues until completion.

Holding space in this manner often includes setting the example and pace with deep breathing -without "instructing"-merely gently encouraging (tactfully, without verbalizing if possible).

You may feel compelled to engage with the person having the process. Bring gentleness and consciousness to your engagement using loving words. Realizing that the person before you is experiencing a process that can be difficult to bear without emotional releases. Radiate Love to this person before you. Say what comes from your heart and don't engage with attempts to hook you into feeding the "pain-body" with heated emotional release.

You'll know when the space is no longer wanting to be held. Some deep, cleansing breaths are good to do at that time. Hugs seem to be a must-do. *smile*

Celebrate the higher consciousness and greater clarity.
Receive appreciation for your clear, strong, holding-of-space.

Recognize the divine in all that has transpired.
Love one another.

Namaste,
Sunyata Satchitananda
www.SunyataSatchitananda.com

Homo Novus -the New Man: Divine-Masculine

OSHO on the New Man:
"The old concept of man was of either/or; materialist or spiritualist, moral or immoral, sinner or saint. It was based on division, split... Only a whole man can celebrate. Celebration is the fragrance of being whole...

The new man will not be either/or; he will be both/and...earthy and divine, worldly and other worldly. The new man will accept his totality and he will live it without any inner division, he will not be split... He will transcend duality...With the new man will come a new world, because the new man will perceive in a qualitatively different way and he will live a totally different life which has not been lived yet. He will be a mystic, a poet, a scientist, all together. He will not choose; he will be choicelessly himself...

He will be Zorba the Greek and also Gautam the Buddha: the new man will be Zorba the Buddha. He will be sensuous and spiritual, physical, in the body, in the senses, enjoying the body...and still a great consciousness. The old is on its deathbed. The death of the old will be the beginning of the new. Help the new to be born...with the new is the future of the whole of humanity. The new has to be brought in."

The New Man is appearing. He has been emerging for many years and is finally coming out of the closet. The success-driven patriarchal macho-asshole man of previous generations is giving way to a much more balanced expression of the masculine gender -one that reveals an integration of body-and-soul, sacred and profane, a Divine-Human (a He-moon) being.

The New Man is expressing more Divine Masculine aspects, connecting with the higher vibrations of being, thinking and speaking. These "divine" aspects are in harmony with the feminine, not in competition with her. They are also in harmony with our environment and ecology. The new man embodies divinity, giving full expression of the divine through the body in all its forms of communication, engagement and connection.

The New Man is about cooperation (not competition), acceptance (not judgment), transpersonally serving (not self-serving), attunes with the feminine (not intimidates her), nurtures spirit's presence (not destroys natural beauty).

Please join me in supporting this on-going shift in our culture to a new paradigm male expression. As you see such men emerging, please support them on their path with encouragement and acknowledgment for their shift of consciousness.

If you would like to find out more about the New Man please visit my web site or Facebook Page.

Love and Light,
Sunyata

Transpersonal Service -what does it mean?

A growing awareness of the "transpersonal" aspect of our psyche and how it relates to our personal engagement with "others" and life in general -informs Sacred Intimate service and facilitates appreciation and easefull engagement:
Transpersonal: Transcending or reaching beyond the personal or individual.

The term Transpersonal is often used to refer to psychological categories that transcend the normal features of ordinary ego-functioning. That is, stages of psychological growth, or stages of consciousness, that move beyond the rational and precedes the mystical.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transpersonal

Transpersonal psychology is a school of psychology that studies the transpersonal, the transcendent or spiritual aspects of the human experience. Issues considered in transpersonal psychology include spiritual self-development, peak experiences, mystical experiences, systemic trance and other metaphysical experiences of living.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transpersonal_psychology

Transpersonal sex is using sex to experience transpersonal states of being, providing profound transcendent states of consciousness -as utilized by so called "sacred sex" or Tantra paths/methods of enlightenment.

Transpersonal sexual service has a trained Sacred Intimate service provider who addresses and engages Eros and the body through sensuality and sex (at some level) in a sacred container that nurtures and catalyzes stages of human development and awareness beyond the personal and provides a felt sense of inspired connection to the web of life and the divine.

To serve transpersonally means to remove personal, Ego-based, choices and be equally accepting of serving whomever is before you without bias, prejudice or preference in your acceptance. It means offering sacred service from a place of transpersonal loving, unconditionally accepting all before you with love.

The service provider is always "at-choice" of whom to he/she will serve and that choice is not made from personal desires or preferences. A decision to decline service is based on the service provider’s reading of energetic matching (doing an honest check-in and getting clear about the energy alignment/misalignment) and not personal, Egoic, gratification or fears.

I am Sunyata Satchitananda, a Sacred Intimate and Priest of Eros and Beauty serving the Goddess of Love: Inanna-Ishtar-Aphrodite. My partner and I, Alorah, are transpersonal sexual service providers -we model and lead in the vast-land between nothing and sex, where we meet in erotic Exquisite Engagement, Soul-Gazing, Hand-Dancing, Breath-Kissing, and Mythic Embrace. Our emphasis is on intimacy and non-sexual practices that heighten Eros in your life and relationships. In our sacred sessions we also address the body and sexuality as an awakener to transpersonal states of consciousness and divine recognition.

Visit my web site for information about sacred sessions with the Divine Masculine and to request a session.
www.SunyataSatchitananda.com

Love and Light,
Sunyata